A lot of my clients come to me feeling stuck in situations they can�t control whether it�s a disability, a tough life event, or just the unpredictability of being human. And, more often than not, they ask me things like: And my response, in one way or another, always comes back to this: �Suffering is Part of Being Human� Initially it might sound depressing I know, but pain is part of the deal when it comes to being human. It shows up in loss, rejection, loneliness, uncertainty, and grief. No one escapes it. And yet, we spend so much of our time trying to avoid it, outrun it, or pretend it isn�t there. We act like suffering is some kind of glitch in the system�something to get rid of, rather than something to understand. But what if pain wasn�t just an obstacle to happiness?  What if it was actually part of what makes us human? Feeling deeply isn�t a flaw. It�s proof that you�re alive. The Problem with Avoiding Pain We live in a world that loves quick fixes. It�s easier to scroll through TikTok, work late, drink, game, or distract ourselves than it is to sit with our pain. We push down the parts of ourselves that hurt instead of actually listening to them. But avoidance doesn�t make pain go away it just buries it deeper.  Unprocessed pain doesn�t disappear. It lingers in your body, your relationships, your choices. It morphs us into someone we barely recognise.  What It Means to Sit with Your Emotions What if, instead of trying to escape suffering, we made space for it? What if we actually let ourselves feel it, notice where it sits in our body, and be present with it without judgment? Sitting with your emotions doesn�t mean drowning in them. It means allowing yourself to feel whether that�s grief, anger, or fear without shame. It�s about holding space for what�s going on inside you, rather than trying to fight it. When we stop resisting emotions, they move through us instead of defining us. Imagine you�re stuck in quicksand. The more you fight, the deeper you sink. But if you stop struggling and stay still, you give yourself a chance to breathe, to find solid ground. That�s what it means to sit with your emotions. Self-compassion is key here. Pain doesn�t make you weak. Struggling doesn�t make you broken. You are not your suffering it�s just something you carry for a while. Living in Line with Your Values Even When It Hurts Healing isn�t about getting rid of pain. It�s about deciding who you want to be in the middle of it.  When I sit with a client who feels overwhelmed by anxiety, depression, or grief, I might ask the following questions which I knicked off a very smart friend a few years ago: For example, if someone is grieving, making space for pain might mean letting themselves cry and miss their loved one while still showing up for family, honouring memories, or reaching out for support instead of shutting down. If someone struggles with social anxiety, it might mean acknowledging the fear but still choosing to connect sending a message, showing up at a gathering for even a short while, being present even when their heart is racing. We can hold sadness and still move towards the life we want. We can still hold sadness and  be our authentic self. Embracing the Full Human Experience So next time suffering comes knocking, don�t shut the door. Let it in. Sit with it. Listen to what it has to say. Our emotions are like a check engine light for our brain. But, when it�s ready to leave, let it go because you are so much more than your depression, anxiety, grief or pain. by Sheyan Gunapala

Reflections on Neurodiversity: What I�ve Learned Neurodiversity Celebration Week feels like the perfect time to pause and reflect on this journey both personally and professionally. It�s a week to embrace the strengths, challenges, and unique experiences of neurodivergent folks. For me, it�s a chance to appreciate how my own neurodivergence has shaped my life in ways I never fully understood until adulthood.   I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2019, but honestly, the signs were always there. I wasn�t the hyperactive, bouncing-off-the-walls kid people often associate with ADHD. Instead, I was the one always asking for bathroom breaks, misplacing every pencil I borrowed, and zoning out so deeply in daydreams about Pok�mon that I�d miss entire conversations. I had no mental filter and would blurt out blunt truths that got me in trouble more often than I�d like to admit. Growing up in a Sri Lankan and South Asian community, ADHD, Autism, or learning differences weren�t really talked about they were often misunderstood as laziness, a lack of discipline, or even low intelligence. School felt like an uphill battle, and if it weren�t for my family reteaching me lessons after school (without even realising they were providing my first real accommodations), I would�ve struggled even more. Outside of home, things weren�t any easier. I lost multiple casual jobs in fast food and hospitality because my brain just wouldn�t cooperate. To this day, I maintain that Hungry Jack�s was the most stressful job I ever had. I still have no idea how to make a Whopper, so please don�t ask. Every parent-teacher meeting was the same: �You need to apply yourself more,� or �You should participate in discussions.� But how could I contribute to conversations I wasn�t even mentally present for? In high school, my therapist told me, “We can all reach where we want to go with the right support.” It wasn�t a groundbreaking intervention, but that simple moment of human connection stuck with me. It made me want to help others navigate their own journeys, especially those who, like me, grew up feeling out of place in a neurotypical world.   Embracing Neurodiversity in Practice   That sense of belonging and authenticity became the foundation for Ascension Psychology. I still remember sitting in a 7/11 car park during a COVID lockdown, venting to a friend about how therapy and assessments felt inauthentic and rigid for divergent individuals. I was sick of teaching �social skills� that just masked neurodivergence rather than celebrating it. I wanted to build a space where neurodivergent people could feel understood without constantly having to explain themselves. Ascension started small just me, working two hours a week, running telehealth assessments from my tiny apartment. But the demand for neuroaffirming therapy was huge. Within months, we outgrew my little home office, moved into a shared space, and built a team of passionate professionals who believe in supporting neurodivergent clients the way we wish we�d been supported growing up.   Now, as Ascension keeps growing, I think a lot about what neurodiversity truly means to me not just as a psychologist, but as someone who�s lived it. It�s a big question, and I don�t think I can summarise it in a single blog post. To me, neurodiversity is about celebrating the many ways people learn, think, and experience the world while also acknowledging that life can be extremely tough for neurodivergent individuals. Neuroaffirming practice means we have a responsibility to keep learning about different brain styles to ensure that no neurodivergent kiddo grows up in a world where they are shamed for being different.   A Thank You To my friends, family, colleagues, and mentors�thank you for seeing me, supporting me, and believing in me. To my partner�thank you for putting up with my endless business ideas, even when they interrupt date nights!   And to my clients, you inspire me every day. Your resilience, honesty, and willingness to embrace your neurodivergence make this work deeply meaningful.   Neurodiversity isn�t a limitation; it�s a different, beautiful way of experiencing the world. This Neurodiversity Celebration Week, let�s take a moment to honour our unique journeys�because every brain deserves to be celebrated! By Sheyan Gunapala (Psychologist and Founder of Ascension Psychology)

Emotional Regulation, Burnout, and the Cost of Masking: Finding Balance as a Neurodivergent Individual Navigating the world as a neurodivergent person comes with unique challenges, especially when it comes to emotional regulation, masking, and burnout. Many neurodivergent individuals experience heightened emotions, struggle to process them, and often feel pressure to hide their true selves to fit in. Over time, this can lead to chronic stress, exhaustion, and even burnout. The good news? There are ways to manage emotions, reduce overwhelm, and break free from the cycle of masking and burnout. Let�s explore how. Understanding Emotional Regulation & Overwhelm For many neurodivergent individuals�whether autistic, ADHD, or otherwise�emotions can feel intense and difficult to control. Small frustrations can become overwhelming, and moments of joy can be equally consuming. When emotional regulation feels out of reach, it can lead to meltdowns, shutdowns, or chronic stress. Therapy can help by providing tools to: ? Identify emotional triggers � Understanding what sparks intense emotions can help create space for intentional responses.? Practice mindfulness & grounding � Simple techniques like deep breathing, sensory strategies, or movement can bring emotions back into balance.? Reframe thoughts � Shifting negative or overwhelming thoughts into more compassionate perspectives can help prevent emotional spirals. Emotional regulation isn�t about suppressing emotions�it�s about learning how to navigate them in a way that works for you. Autistic Burnout: When Masking & Sensory Overload Take Their Toll Autistic burnout is a deep state of exhaustion caused by the prolonged effort of masking, social demands, and sensory overload. It�s not just being �tired� or �stressed��it�s a full-body, cognitive, and emotional shutdown that can last for weeks, months, or even years. Signs of Autistic Burnout: ? Extreme exhaustion � Feeling physically and mentally drained, even after rest.? Increased sensory sensitivity � Everyday sounds, lights, or textures may become unbearable.? Loss of skills or regression � Struggling with speech, executive function, or social interaction.? Emotional shutdown � Feeling detached, numb, or unable to express emotions.? Higher anxiety, depression, or meltdowns � Difficulty coping with even small stressors. What Causes Autistic Burnout? ? Masking & social exhaustion � Constantly suppressing autistic traits to �fit in.�? Sensory overload � Too much exposure to noise, crowds, or overwhelming environments.? Unrealistic expectations � Pushing past personal limits to meet neurotypical demands.? Lack of downtime � Not having enough solitude or time to decompress. ? Recovery from autistic burnout requires reducing demands, unmasking in safe spaces, sensory regulation, and prioritizing rest. Special interests can play a role in recovery, as engaging in something you�re passionate about helps to recharge and bring joy. Additionally, creating a routine that prioritizes downtime and minimises sensory overload can foster a sense of control and comfort. Mindful stimming can also be helpful to reduce sensory tension, as it provides a natural way to self-regulate. It�s essential to recognize that burnout isn�t a failure�it�s a sign that too much energy has been spent trying to function in a world not built for autistic minds. ADHD Burnout: The Cost of Constantly Trying to Keep Up ADHD burnout is a state of deep mental and physical exhaustion that comes from the constant cycle of overcommitting, hyperfocusing, struggling with executive function, and dealing with chronic overwhelm. Unlike autistic burnout, which is heavily tied to masking and sensory overload, ADHD burnout often results from the mental effort of managing time, tasks, and emotional dysregulation. Signs of ADHD Burnout: ? Mental fog & exhaustion � Feeling drained, sluggish, or unable to focus.? Loss of motivation � Struggling to start or complete tasks, even important ones.? Emotional dysregulation � Feeling irritable, anxious, or overly emotional.? Increased executive dysfunction � More difficulty with planning, organisation, and time management.? Rebound effect after hyperfocus � Feeling completely depleted after periods of intense focus. What Causes ADHD Burnout? ? Overcommitting & hyperfocusing � Going all-in on projects, then crashing.? Constant executive dysfunction � The struggle of keeping up with tasks, deadlines, and responsibilities.? Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) � Emotional distress from perceived criticism or failure.? Chronic stress from trying to �keep up� � Pushing through difficulties in a world that isn�t ADHD-friendly. The Boom and Bust Cycle A unique feature of ADHD burnout is the boom and bust cycle. This happens when a person with ADHD goes through periods of hyperfocus, where they are highly productive, followed by exhausting crashes when the mental energy runs out. The cycle continues with periods of intense productivity that lead to burnout, only to be followed by periods of complete lack of motivation and feelings of inadequacy. Over time, this cycle leads to emotional and mental exhaustion. ? Recovery from ADHD burnout means restoring energy, setting boundaries, adjusting expectations, and finding sustainable systems rather than forcing productivity. To break the boom-and-bust cycle, focusing on structure and routine is key. Having a predictable day that includes rest breaks, time for self-care, and manageable tasks can provide stability. It�s important to balance periods of work with intentional downtime so that energy is spent sustainably. The Overlap: When ADHD & Autistic Burnout Coexist For some, the burnout experience isn�t just limited to one aspect of neurodivergence. Many neurodivergent individuals experience both ADHD and autism, meaning they can go through both types of burnout at the same time. This often looks like: ? Pushing through ADHD burnout by hyperfocusing, only to crash into autistic burnout.? Struggling with sensory overload while also dealing with executive dysfunction.? Feeling mentally �stuck� due to exhaustion from masking AND task paralysis. If this sounds familiar, recovery requires a combination of both autistic and ADHD-friendly strategies�prioritizing rest, reducing sensory overwhelm, AND creating gentle structure to prevent future burnout cycles. Moving Forward with Self-Acceptance Managing emotions, reducing overwhelm, and learning to unmask takes time. But with the right support, you can: ? Develop personalized coping strategies that work for your unique needs.? Create a life that prioritizes rest, self-care, and authenticity over constant adaptation.? Find a community that embraces neurodivergence, so you don�t have to navigate this alone. At Ascension, we provide neuro-affirming,

Emotions are a big part of what makes us human. They help us connect with others, understand ourselves better, and navigate life. But not all emotions are created equal. Some are simple and instinctive, while others are more complex and layered. That�s where the idea of primary and secondary emotions comes in. Let�s break it down. What Are Primary Emotions? Primary emotions are the basic ones we all feel. They�re quick, instinctive, and universal�meaning people from every culture experience them in the same way. Think of them as the building blocks of all other emotions. The main primary emotions include: – Happiness: Feeling joy or contentment, like when you see someone you love or achieve a goal. – Sadness: That heavy feeling when you lose something or someone important to you. – Fear: A reaction to danger, like when you hear a loud noise or see something scary. – Anger: What you feel when something unfair or frustrating happens. – Surprise: The jolt you get from something unexpected, whether good or bad. – Disgust: That “ick” feeling you get when something�s gross or offensive. These emotions are pretty straightforward and often show up right away in certain situations. They�re also there to help us survive. For example, fear helps us avoid danger, and anger can push us to stand up for ourselves. What Are Secondary Emotions? Secondary emotions are where things get a bit more complicated. They�re shaped by your life experiences, culture, and even the way you think about things. These emotions are a mix of primary emotions and often take a little longer to surface. Some examples are: – Guilt: Feeling bad because you think you did something wrong (a mix of sadness and fear). – Pride: That warm feeling you get when you accomplish something (a blend of happiness and confidence). – Jealousy: Feeling upset or insecure when someone else has something you want (a mix of anger and fear). – Embarrassment: That cringe feeling when you think you�ve messed up in front of others (a mix of fear and shame). Unlike primary emotions, secondary emotions can vary a lot between people and cultures. For example, what makes someone feel proud or guilty might be totally different depending on their upbringing or values. Why Does This Matter? Understanding the difference between primary and secondary emotions can really help you: 1. Handle Your Feelings Better: When you know what you�re feeling and why, it�s easier to deal with it. 2. Communicate Clearly: Being able to say, “I�m feeling angry because I�m also scared,” can make conversations go a lot smoother. 3. Build Stronger Relationships: Understanding your emotions (and others�) helps you connect on a deeper level. Tips for Working with Your Emotions – Pause and Reflect: When you�re feeling something, take a second to figure out if it�s a primary or secondary emotion. For instance, if you�re jealous, ask yourself if there�s some fear or insecurity underneath. – Be Kind to Yourself: All emotions are valid, even the messy ones. Instead of judging yourself, try to understand what your feelings are trying to tell you. – Talk About It: Sharing your emotions with someone you trust can help you sort through them and feel supported. – Get Support if You Need It: If your emotions feel too big to handle on your own, reaching out to a psychologist can make a huge difference. by Sheyan Gunapala

The Diathesis-Stress Model is a psychological theory that helps explain how mental health conditions develop. It posits that an individual�s predisposition (diathesis) interacts with environmental stressors to produce psychological conditions. This model is instrumental in understanding the complexities of mental health, emphasizing that both nature and nurture play critical roles in an individual�s psychological well-being. What is the Diathesis-Stress Model? Implications for Mental Health The Diathesis-Stress Model has important implications for understanding and treating mental health conditions: Real-World Applications The Diathesis-Stress Model can be applied across various mental health conditions, helping to illustrate the importance of the interplay between predisposition and stress: Conclusion The Diathesis-Stress Model provides a valuable framework for understanding the complex interplay between biological predispositions and environmental stressors in mental health. By recognizing that mental health conditions result from this interaction, clinicians, researchers, and individuals can adopt a more holistic approach to prevention and treatment. This understanding not only promotes empathy and awareness but also underscores the importance of addressing both internal vulnerabilities and external stressors in the journey toward mental wellness.

By Sheyan Gunapala Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is often misunderstood, leading to stigma and a lack of adequate support for those who experience it. Many people equate BPD with being “difficult” or “manipulative,” overlooking the emotional pain and struggles that define the disorder. Researchers have also questioned the scientific validity of BPD, citing its significant overlap with other diagnostic categories. Many suggest that it may be time to retire this label entirely, advocating for a more nuanced understanding of emotional dysregulation and the underlying causes of the symptoms typically associated with BPD. BPD is prevalent in approximately 1.5% of the global population. Both genetic and environmental components contribute to its development. Genetic factors, particularly those involved in the regulation of the Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenal (HPA) axis, can be influenced by disruptions in secure attachment, exposure to childhood trauma, or maltreatment, which increases susceptibility to BPD. Personality disorders like BPD are found to occur more frequently in young adults, women, and individuals with low income or education. Predictors of positive outcomes for BPD include higher intelligence, stable vocational functioning, greater extraversion, a higher level of agreeableness, and low neuroticism. Conversely, factors that may lead to poorer outcomes include a higher degree of comorbidities and a history of childhood adversity. These considerations are crucial for understanding the context of individuals diagnosed with BPD, as their symptoms may affect their overall functioning. The prognosis for BPD is generally positive over the medium to long term. With effective intervention, a significant number of individuals recover and no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for BPD, although a small minority may experience a relapse of symptoms. Symptoms typically emerge during adolescence or early adulthood, and studies show that a BPD diagnosis before the age of 19 can predict long-term impacts on functioning. While some evidence suggests that BPD features may decline over time, this phenomenon appears to be influenced by temperament. The developmental trajectory of BPD often involves challenges in establishing stable relationships, achieving autonomy, and maintaining independence. Individuals diagnosed with BPD have a high chance of presenting with comorbid mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, substance use, and eating disorders. Notably, ADHD and autism are also commonly seen alongside BPD. Understanding these comorbidities is crucial for effective treatment planning, as they can complicate the course of BPD and influence treatment approaches. For example, depression and anxiety are commonly reported alongside BPD, leading to increased emotional distress and difficulties in managing everyday life. Individuals with BPD may also struggle with substance use disorders as a means to cope with emotional pain. Similarly, eating disorders can manifest in individuals with BPD, often as a way to exert control over one�s body amidst the chaos of their emotions. The presence of ADHD or autism can further complicate the picture, as individuals may experience additional challenges with attention, social interactions, and emotional regulation. A thorough psychological assessment for BPD typically involves a detailed clinical interview and specific screening tools. It is vital for clinicians to be well-trained in accurately identifying BPD and considering relevant comorbidities. Treatment Options Effective treatment for BPD typically involves psychotherapy, which can help individuals develop healthier coping mechanisms and improve emotional regulation. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is one of the most established and effective treatment options for BPD, focusing on skills like mindfulness, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. Other therapeutic approaches include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Schema Therapy, and mentalization-based therapy, which aim to help individuals understand their emotions and improve their relationships. Medications may also be prescribed to manage specific symptoms or co-occurring disorders, although there is no medication specifically approved for BPD. A collaborative approach that involves mental health professionals, support networks, and the individual is often the most beneficial in navigating the complexities of BPD. Conclusion In conclusion, BPD is a complex disorder that requires compassion and understanding. By recognizing the emotional turmoil experienced by those with BPD, the common comorbidities that often accompany it, and the treatment options available, we can better support individuals on their path to healing and recovery. It is essential to move beyond stigma and misconceptions, fostering a society that values understanding and effective treatment for all.

Starting therapy can feel like a big step, and it�s natural to want to know what you�re getting into. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is a popular and effective approach that helps people change unhelpful patterns in their thinking and behavior. This blog will walk you through the main stages of CBT, explaining how it works and why patience is important as you go through this process. What is CBT? CBT is based on the idea that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected. Sometimes, we get stuck in negative patterns�like thinking the worst about ourselves, feeling anxious or down, and then behaving in ways that keep us stuck in that cycle. CBT helps you break this cycle by teaching you to recognize and change these patterns. 1. Understanding the Problem: Assessment and Goal Setting The first step in CBT is getting a clear understanding of what�s going on in your life and what you want to change. This involves talking about your experiences, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Techniques Used: This stage is about laying the groundwork for the work ahead, ensuring that we�re both clear on what you want to achieve. 2. Recognizing Thought Patterns: Awareness and Identification In this stage, the focus is on identifying the specific thoughts that contribute to your feelings and behaviors. These are often automatic thoughts�those quick, reflexive thoughts that pop into your mind without you even realizing it. Techniques Used: This stage helps you become more aware of how your thinking influences your emotions and actions. 3. Challenging and Changing Thoughts: Cognitive Restructuring Once you�ve identified unhelpful thoughts, the next step is to challenge and change them. This doesn�t mean thinking positively all the time, but rather learning to think more realistically and helpfully. Techniques Used: This stage is key to breaking the cycle of negative thinking and behavior. 4. Changing Behavior: Behavioral Techniques Thoughts and behaviors are closely linked, so changing the way you act can also help change the way you feel. This stage focuses on modifying behaviors that contribute to your difficulties. Techniques Used: This stage is about putting new skills into practice and making changes that improve your daily life. 5. Maintaining Progress: Consolidation and Relapse Prevention As therapy progresses, the focus shifts to maintaining the progress you�ve made and preventing relapse. This means solidifying the changes in your thinking and behavior so they stick, even after therapy ends. Techniques Used: Why Patience is Key CBT is a powerful tool for change, but it�s not an overnight fix. Each stage is important, and progress can take time. It�s normal to experience ups and downs along the way, but with patience and persistence, you�ll start to see meaningful improvements in your life. Remember, the goal of CBT is not just to feel better temporarily, but to make lasting changes that help you live a happier, healthier life. By sticking with the process and being kind to yourself as you work through it, you�ll be setting yourself up for success in the long run. This journey is about empowering you to take control of your thoughts and behaviors so that you can create the life you want. Trust the process, and know that every step forward, no matter how small, is a step toward a better you.

The Stages of Schema Therapy When you decide to start schema therapy, it’s like embarking on a journey toward a better, more fulfilling life. This journey has several stages, each designed to help you understand and heal from deep-seated patterns and beliefs that may have been holding you back. Let�s break down these stages so you know what to expect and why it�s important to be patient as we work together. What is a Schema? Before we dive into the stages, it�s important to understand what a schema is. Think of a schema as a lens through which you see the world. It�s a deeply held belief or pattern that shapes how you think, feel, and behave. Schemas often develop early in life, especially in response to unmet needs or difficult experiences. For example, if you grew up feeling criticized or neglected, you might develop a schema that tells you you�re not good enough or that others will always reject you. These schemas can be very powerful and can influence your relationships, your self-esteem, and even your decision-making. 1. Getting to Know You: Assessment Stage In the beginning, we take time to really understand you�your life experiences, your struggles, and your strengths. This is the foundation of our work together. We explore the patterns (schemas) that have shaped your thinking, emotions, and behaviors. Techniques Used: This stage is all about self-discovery and sets the stage for the work ahead. 2. Understanding Your Patterns: Awareness Stage Once we�ve identified the schemas, the next step is to understand how they impact your life today. This is where you start to notice how these patterns show up in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Techniques Used: Awareness is a powerful tool. As you begin to see these patterns more clearly, you also start to understand how they might have developed in response to past experiences. 3. Breaking the Cycle: Change Stage With awareness comes the ability to make changes. In this stage, we work on breaking free from the old patterns that no longer serve you. Techniques Used: This stage can be challenging, but it�s also where the most significant growth happens. 4. Building a New You: Integration Stage As you begin to break free from old patterns, you�ll start to build a new, healthier way of being. This stage is about integrating these changes into your everyday life. Techniques Used: This stage is empowering because it�s where you start to see the results of your hard work. 5. Maintaining Progress: Consolidation Stage The final stage of schema therapy is about maintaining the progress you�ve made. Change can be fragile, especially in the early stages, so this part of the journey is about reinforcing the new patterns and ensuring they stick. Techniques Used: Why Patience is Key Schema therapy is a journey of deep healing and transformation, and like any meaningful journey, it takes time. Each stage is important, and rushing through them can undermine the process. By being patient and giving yourself the time you need to grow, you�re more likely to experience lasting, positive change. Remember, this journey is about you and your well-being. Every step we take together brings you closer to the life you want and deserve. So, be kind to yourself, trust the process, and know that you�re making progress, even when it feels slow.

– “I don’t want to label them.” – “I don’t want them to feel judged.” – “I don’t want them to feel different.” A common conversation I often have with Sri Lankan and South Asian parents is about labels for their children. But, it’s important to realise that people are already labeling your child, whether that’s your preference or not. Human beings naturally try to make sense of what we don’t understand by using labels. Understanding the Impact of Labels Take autism, for example. Without understanding your child�s neurotype, teachers and peers may see their differences as simply being difficult. With ADHD, they could be seen as lazy. With dyslexia, they might be perceived as unwilling to try tasks. We can’t avoid labels, but we can control what these labels mean and how they are used. Turning Self-Criticism into Self-Compassion A label can turn self-criticism into self-compassion. If your child is undiagnosed autistic, their self-talk might be, “What’s wrong with me?” or “Why are things so hard for me?” A label can show them that they are not defective, just different. This can transform criticism into self-compassion, such as, “I am not defective; I just have a different social style.” Access to Accommodations Labels can also help provide a better understanding of a child�s behaviour, which in turn provides access to accommodations to help neurodivergent kids function in a neurotypical world. With a label, access to rest breaks, quieter exam spaces, or detailed task breakdowns becomes available. As parents, you’ll also gain more understanding of why your child may have certain difficulties, and this can help you work with a professional to create strategies that best support them. We can’t avoid labels, but we can ensure they serve a positive and supportive role in our children’s lives. Written By Sheyan Gunapala (Psychologist)

When we think about postnatal depression, it�s usually associated with mothers, but fathers can experience it too. Postnatal depression in men is significant and often overlooked. It�s essential to recognise that this condition is not uncommon and that seeking help is perfectly okay. What is Postnatal Depression in Men? Postnatal depression (PND) in men, also known as paternal postpartum depression, refers to the depressive episodes some fathers experience after their child is born. While hormonal changes in women post-childbirth are well-documented, the emotional and psychological impacts on men are just as important to recognise.  Symptoms to Watch For Symptoms can start during the pregnancy or develop in the first year after the birth. Men might express their depression differently than women. Here are some common signs: – Persistent sadness or low mood – Irritability and anger – Increased substance use – Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness – Withdrawal from family and social activities – Difficulty bonding with the baby – Anxiety and excessive worry – Changes in appetite and sleep patterns – Fatigue and lack of energy – Difficulty concentrating Causes and Risk Factors Several factors can contribute to the development of postnatal depression in men, including: – Previous mental health issues: A history of depression or anxiety can increase the risk. – Relationship stress: Changes and strains in the relationship with the partner can be significant. – Unintended pregnancy: An unplanned pregnancy can add to the stress and feelings of being unprepared or overwhelmed. – Sleep deprivation: Disrupted sleep patterns can increase the risk of developing PPD. – Lack of support: Feeling unsupported by family, friends, or the community can heighten feelings of isolation and depression. – Financial pressures: The financial responsibilities of a new child can be stressful. – Challenges with identity: The drastic change in lifestyle and routine can be overwhelming. Many new fathers find it hard to feel connected to their old self and identity. �Why It�s Important to Address Untreated postnatal depression in men can have long-term effects on the father, the baby, and the entire family. It can lead to poor bonding with the baby, affecting the child�s emotional and social development. Children who live with a father with depression have a 33-to-70-percent increased risk of developing emotional or behavioral problems. It can also strain the parental relationship, leading to further stress and potential conflict within the family. Seeking Help and Treatment Recognising the signs of postnatal depression is the first step towards getting help. At our practice, we provide a safe and supportive environment where fathers can talk openly about their feelings and experiences. Treatment for postnatal depression in men often includes: – Therapy: Counseling can help men understand and manage their symptoms. – Support groups: Connecting with other fathers who are experiencing similar challenges can provide valuable support and reduce feelings of isolation. – Medication: In some cases, antidepressant medications may be recommended by a healthcare provider. Final Thoughts Postnatal depression in men is a serious condition that deserves attention and care. If you or someone you know is struggling, it�s important to seek help and support. Our practice is committed to providing compassionate care to all parents, helping them navigate the challenges of parenthood and fostering a healthy, happy family life. Remember, seeking help is a strong and positive step towards recovery and well-being. References 

In schema therapy, we believe that everyone has different parts or “modes” within themselves. These modes can include the inner critic, which constantly judges and criticises, and the inner child, which represents our vulnerable, emotional side. The goal in schema therapy is to develop the ‘Healthy Adult mode’. This part of you acts like a kind, validating, and compassionate person who can take care of your emotional needs.  For many ADHDers, the Healthy Adult mode may be underdeveloped. Consequently, individuals often develop strong inner critics that chastise them for not meeting neurotypical norms. Schema therapy is a process that helps you meet your core emotional needs to heal negative core beliefs and quiet or befriend your inner critic. Remco van der Wijnhaart (2015) outlines three steps that I find helpful for my ADHDer clients.   The 3 Steps of the Healthy Adult Mode for Individuals with ADHD 1. Validate Your Inner Child      Offer yourself empathy, validation, and necessary emotional support. For example:    – Acknowledge, “I am feeling ashamed right now, and that is normal. Most people would feel this way if they forgot to pay their phone bill for the third month in a row.”     – Recognise that this is a completely normal reaction, and many people would feel similarly in such a situation.    – Use self-compassionate statements like, “It’s okay to make mistakes. Everyone does.” 2. Provide Reassurance and Offer a Different Perspective    ADHD can magnify feelings, making them seem more intense and long-lasting. It’s important to remind yourself that your feelings are temporary and you have the capacity to get through them. Try to adopt a different perspective:     – “Even though it feels overwhelming right now, this feeling will pass.”    – “I’ve felt this way before and I’ve got through it.”    – “I understand I feel embarrassed for zoning out in a meeting, but I show my competence in other ways.”    – “I am different, not defective.” 3. Deal with the Situation    The final step involves addressing the situation and being mindful of unhealthy coping mechanisms (e.g., avoidance). For individuals with ADHD, this might mean breaking down tasks into manageable steps or using tools like planners or apps to stay organised. Remember, action is essential, but it should come after acknowledging and validating your feelings:    – Create a to-do list with small, achievable tasks.     – Use self-soothing techniques such as deep breathing, grounding exercises, or even a brief, calming activity like listening to music.    – Set reminders on your phone to help you stay on track.    – Use apps designed for ADHDers to manage time and tasks more effectively.    – Avoid negative self-talk and instead, encourage yourself with positive affirmations like, “I can handle this, one step at a time.”     – Talk to someone you feel safe with about the shame you are experiencing        – Reflect on if there any tasks that you can outsource right now By following these three steps, you can develop a more balanced approach to managing your emotions and strengthening your Healthy Adult mode. Practice these steps regularly to improve your emotional regulation and overall well-being. You are not defective.� Written by Sheyan Gunapala (Psychologist) References 

What is a Learning Difficulty? Learning difficulties affect many students in acquiring academic skills. These issues can arise from various factors, such as intellectual disabilities, physical or sensory impairments (like hearing loss), emotional or behavioural challenges, or inadequate learning environments. Those who have trouble paying attention and concentrating might also find it hard to succeed academically because they can�t fully engage with their learning. What is a Specific Learning Disability? Specific learning disabilities (SLD) are a particular type of learning difficulty. Kids with SLDs face significant challenges in certain academic areas but might have strengths in other areas. It�s important to note that an SLD is different from intellectual disabilities, which affect general intellectual functioning. In Australia, SLDs are seen as causing people to learn differently. When these differences make it difficult for a child to access the curriculum or demonstrate their knowledge, tailored interventions are crucial. These should be designed to address their specific challenges, creating an inclusive and supportive learning environment. What is Dyslexia? Dyslexia is a well-known specific learning disability that affects reading and spelling. It�s important to understand that dyslexia doesn�t reflect a lack of intelligence; rather, it�s a part of neurodiversity that affects how the brain processes language. People with dyslexia often struggle with phonological processing and decoding, which are essential for connecting sounds to letters and words. Because of these challenges, they might find it hard to read quickly and effortlessly, known as reading fluency, which in turn can affect reading comprehension. When reading isn�t automatic, more mental effort goes into decoding words, leaving less attention for understanding the text. The impact of dyslexia can be significant, affecting school performance, self-esteem, and overall well-being. Children with dyslexia might feel frustrated, anxious, and inadequate, especially in traditional educational settings where reading and writing are crucial skills. Recognising these challenges and providing support can help create a more inclusive and understanding learning environment. How is Dyslexia Identified? To identify dyslexia in children, professionals often use the WISC (Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children) and the WIAT (Wechsler Individual Achievement Test). The WISC assesses a child�s cognitive abilities, such as problem-solving and memory, while the WIAT evaluates their academic skills in reading, writing, and oral language, including decoding, reading fluency, and comprehension. Sometimes, psychologists also use the CTOPP-2 (Comprehensive Test of Phonological Processing) to get a more detailed understanding. Using these tests together provides a complete picture of a child�s strengths and challenges, helping to pinpoint specific areas that need support. What Can Be Done? Addressing learning difficulties, including dyslexia, requires a team effort involving educators, parents, and specialists. Early identification and intervention are key. Evidence-based phonics programs can be very effective, focusing on phonemic awareness, phonics, fluency, vocabulary, and comprehension. For kids struggling with reading accuracy or decoding, accommodations might include reducing the amount of required reading, providing decodable books, giving verbal and visual instructions, and using audiobooks. For those with reading fluency issues, reducing reading expectations, offering rest breaks, simplifying instructions, and providing early access to class texts can help. To support reading comprehension and vocabulary, assistive technology, pre-teaching vocabulary, and extra materials like outlines and summaries can be beneficial. For spelling difficulties, reducing written work, allowing alternative response formats, providing word banks, and using speech-to-text technology can make a big difference. General adjustments include not keeping students in during breaks to finish work, adjusting the complexity of workloads, and keeping parents informed about homework and assessment requirements. Assessment adjustments might involve extra time, rest breaks, scaffolding, and alternative response formats. In conclusion, understanding and addressing learning difficulties, specific learning disabilities, and conditions like dyslexia requires a thorough and compassionate approach. By raising awareness, providing targeted interventions, and promoting inclusivity, we can create an educational environment where every child can thrive and reach their full potential. Written by Sheyan Gunapala (Psychologist) References 1.https://www.adcet.edu.au/disability-practitioner/reasonable-adjustments/disability-specific-adjustments/specific-learning-disability/learning-difficulty-versus-learning-disability#:~:text=Learning%20difficulty%20is%20a%20non,of%20population%20have%20learning%20difficulties. 2.https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/specific-learning-disorder/what-is-specific-learning-disorder 3. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10453094/ 4.https://meridian.allenpress.com/ajidd/article-abstract/126/6/439/472446/An-Overview-of-Intellectual-Disability-Definition 5. https://dsf.net.au/learning-difficulties 6. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2001-07934-002 7. https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-032814-112842 8. https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fdev0000184 9. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-019-00444-1 10. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9781394259397.ch15 11. https://www.intechopen.com/chapters/88721 12. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0734282914525028 13. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00461520.2019.1659794 14. https://ila.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/rrq.477

We�re sure you�ve heard the term being thrown around. Neurodiversity describes the idea that people experience and interact with the world in many different ways, and there is no single �correct� way to think, learn, feel, or behave. You may have heard this term used in the context of autism, ADHD, or learning disabilities. However, this term emerged with the goal of increasing acceptance and inclusion of all people. What is neurodiversity? Neurodiversity is a concept that celebrates the individual ways that people see, think, and experience the world. It stems from the belief that neurological differences are not just normal, but are valuable additions to the human experience. By accepting neurodiversity, we move away from the idea that there is a single “normal” way of being and instead recognize the beauty and complexity of our minds. In doing so, we create a more inclusive and compassionate society where every individual is valued and celebrated for their unique contribution to the rich fabric of human experience. Neurodiverse, neurodivergent. What�s the difference? Neurodiversity is used to refer to a group of people, whose minds display a diverse range of characteristics, challenges, and strengths. Neurodivergent is a term used to describe a person whose brain functions in a way that diverges from societal norms and expectations.. While the most common conditions neurodivergence is associated with are autism, ADHD, and learning disabilities (dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia), neurodivergence also encompasses a wide umbrella of conditions, including PTSD, OCD, tic conditions, schizophrenia, and more. Neurodivergent individuals face significant challenges due to a pressure to conform to societal norms, and can experience a great deal of stigma and misunderstanding.  What are the benefits of being neurodiverse-affirming? To be neurodiverse-affirming is to recognise and accept that neurological differences are part of the human experience, and to avoid stigmatising and pathologising neurodivergent individuals. Whether you know it or not, you likely interact with neurodivergent individuals on a daily basis – whether that�s a family member, a coworker, or someone working at your local supermarket. By being neurodiverse-affirming, you can have many positive impacts on those around you, including: So, where do I start? Well, you�ve already started! By taking the time to learn about neurodivergent conditions and how they impact individuals, you have taken a step towards being neurodiverse-affirming, and have a bit more knowledge about the experiences and challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals. This can help you be more empathetic and supportive. Some other things you can try are: By being neurodiverse-affirming, you can have a profound impact on the lives of your friends and family who experience the world in diverse ways. Additional Resources Sonny Jane Wise: We�re All Neurodiverse  Jasmine K. Y. Loo: Nurturing Neurodivergence  Devon Price: Unmasking Autism – Embracing Hidden Neurodiversity Chlo� Hayden: Different, Not Less  Sandhya Menon: Fact Sheets Written by Phoebe Meldrum